Try dating someone else. Not everyone will feel competitive with – or overly curious about – your marriage. Many possible partners will be interested within reason, in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

After a certain age, a lot of people have left long relationships. Yes, death is very different than divorce; people will know you did not choose to walk away from your marriage.

But the right person will understand that you can love more than one person in a lifetime. An experienced, thoughtful, empathetic human can figure out that there’s no use competing with someone from the past because all relationships are different. Also, you’re a different version of yourself after your many experiences. Everything is new.

You might benefit from dating someone who has been through this experience. Have you ever been to an event for widowed people?

You could also try meeting people through an activity, so you can get to know them casually before jumping to romance. A slow burn might be best.

If you’re very recently widowed, by the way, some people might wonder if you’re in a place where you can truly love them. That might be part of the issue here – that these women can’t fathom you being open to something serious so soon (if it is, in fact, soon). 

If timing might be part of the confusion, tell them how you feel, what you’re seeking, and try to be patient – with them and yourself.

– Meredith