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During our group meetings at work, I’d love to contribute my ideas and insights, but one of my colleagues tends to dominate the conversation and it’s hard to speak up.

Elaine Varelas provides tips on creating and fostering an inclusive environment during meetings so that everyone who wants to contribute can do so.

Q.  One of my colleagues tends to dominate team meetings and monopolize the conversation. He isn’t our manager and unfortunately, our manager isn’t great at facilitating our group meetings and doesn’t rein in this chatty colleague. How can I tactfully handle this annoying situation? I would like to participate more in the meetings, but it’s nearly impossible to get a word in edgewise.

A. In every meeting, in every social situation, there are always people who are not the best listeners. Unfortunately, they don’t always pay attention to the cues around the room to recognize that they are dominating the conversation and not giving other people a chance to participate or contribute. These other people are frequently overly polite and would never think of interrupting someone mid-sentence, which is sometimes what needs to happen.

The responsibility of trying to have a productive meeting should fall on the manager, who you've identified as not great at facilitating. Your first potential resolution for this is to meet with your manager and identify the challenges that are happening during the team meetings. Let the manager know that there are participants who would like to contribute more but find that the domineering team member doesn't necessarily give other people that opportunity. It is the manager's role to speak with the domineering team members and let them know that while they appreciate their willingness to contribute, they would like to see that person demonstrate their listening skills just a little bit more. They should be encouraged to engage in active listening and not be the first to speak, but in fact wait for others to contribute before they offer their thoughts.

In many coaching situations, employees are encouraged to wait before they speak. They may feel they know the answer. They may feel that the question is not worthy of a lot of attention, but part of being a good colleague is recognizing when other people need to contribute, other people want to add to the conversation, and recognizing the need to give people that opportunity. If the manager doesn't see this as an issue and thinks that other participants need to be the ones to interrupt, you do have additional methods of trying to resolve this. Whoever has the strongest positive relationship with the gabby colleague can approach that person and say, "We have a lot of other people in the group who would like to contribute. You know a lot of the answers, but our goal is to help them develop their skills in terms of contributing in a meeting. Don't be insulted, but would you mind waiting for other people to contribute?"

Hopefully that colleague will see that they can develop other behaviors that can serve them well in meetings with more senior people and with people outside the organization. If they don't demonstrate this new willingness, the other alternative is for people in the meeting to say professionally and politely, "Bob, thanks so much for your comments. I would love to give other people an opportunity to contribute to our discussion". Another suggestion is that the people who feel cut off from contributing might be able to interject and say, "Bob, I’m sorry to have to interrupt you, but one thing I'd like to add is..." When this statement gets delivered multiple times Bob might get the hint that no one is really sorry except that it takes interrupting to get a word in.

The more we can encourage all colleagues to speak up and participate, this will help them develop new behaviors and the group will be better off. By focusing on effective communication and collaboration strategies in meetings, the group will become higher performing, and the manager may be able to utilize stronger leadership skills. Boston.com

By Elaine Varelas